Sunday, September 17, 2006

University of where?!?

I have had enough lectures over the last few years from enough plebs saying how my degree (2.1, academic from a top 5 uni) is no match to their education from the University of Life. I generally accepted this since I reasoned that anyone wearing a cheap suit, with visible tattoos and that whiff of frustrated ambition about them must be right. However looking at the UCAS website the other day I thought I would do some checking up and realised there is no such place!!

I now realise that it is a fictional place made up by people with inferiority complexes, who cannot validate themselves in any other way, in order to try and elevate themselves above proper graduates. I am sure they spent those precious years of 18-21 really excelling themselves in the field of business - you know getting a solid grounding in commerce and the art of entrepeneurship, not just making tea for the MD or losing their fingers in industrial laithes.

What gets me even more is when they point out that some really rich people never went to uni (Richard Branson, Bill Gates et al). Ok, but then again I bet Fred West never went to uni either, and we can be sure that the Yorkshire Ripper, Pol Pot or Hitler never graduated from any established academic institution.

I have an idea for you - yes YOU. How about you shut up and accept that there are people out there who are significantly cleverer than you and that when a graduate on average earns £200k+ over their working life a £10k student loan actually is a solid investment not a crippling burden. Whilst you're at it how about you take a look at the board members of the FTSE 250 and look at the number of grads vs. non grads on the board, or why don't you try applying for some high paid, interesting job before realising that you can't because GCSEs don't count?

In fact just do all of us a favour - sit down, shut up and get used to the fact that you will one day be working for someone like me and unless you win the lottery or invent something that keeps car windscreens really clean this will never change.

Monday, September 11, 2006

It's the end of the world as we know it

5 years since the world moved on.

Funny to think how (if?) things have changed since then. Are we more afraid? If not, then should we be? In fact what are we meant to be afraid of?

I have compiled a short-list of candidates:

  1. Al Qaeda
  2. Osama Bin Laden
  3. George Bush
  4. Tony Blair
  5. Taliban
  6. Christian Eschatology
  7. The Da Vinci Code
  8. Suicide bombers
  9. Racism
  10. Intolerance
  11. The Third Way
  12. Anthrax
  13. Sarin
  14. Street Crime
  15. Drugs
  16. Lunatics 'acting on the fringes of society']
  17. MRSA
  18. Poor school dinners
  19. The lack of prayer in schools
  20. Disintegration of the nuclear family
  21. Homosexual marriage
  22. Killer Bees
  23. The Bomb
  24. The Man
  25. Global Warming
  26. Rogue Asteroids
  27. Nuclear Power
  28. Global Cooling
  29. Whitey
  30. KKK
  31. KFC
  32. Haliburton
  33. APR 29.9%
  34. Continental Drift Divide
  35. LeonardBernstein
  36. Leonid Brezhnev
  37. Lenny Bruce
  38. and LesterBangs
  39. Birthday party
  40. Cheesecake
  41. Jelly bean
  42. Boom!

you know what - I feel fine.